10 tips for bride to understand in laws family in Pakistan

Its is said that, "marriage is not between a boy and girl, but it is between two families " and usually we do not understand why it is said until we got married. At that time we have really short time to understand the things, its time to face real life challenge. It is very necessary for a bride to understand her in-laws family for healthy relationship with her life partner.

 

Bridal expectations are very high before marriage and after marriage mostly girls have to face difficulties with their in-laws family matters.
Following are 10 tips to negotiate well with your in-laws.

1. Understand the difference between your in-laws family and your own Family: You are now not part of your family, but a part of your in-laws family so, try to create balance between two family do not try to discriminate (or avoid favoritism).You in-laws family might be not caring like your own family, understand this it will help you to avoid from disheartening. Being a new member of family try to associate yourself with you in-laws family and create friendly relations with them.
2. Understand your Hubby: Your husband is not a apple fallen from tree in to your hand, he is part of his family, who has spend his most of time with the family before marriage. Do not try to create boundaries between your husband and family but try to create feelings of love and care and realize the other members that he is also caring for them.
3. Do not become friendly very quickly in early days of wedding: It looks not got advice but it works in many cases and helped the brides. Take your time to understand each family member and build your relationship stronger and stronger with the passage of time. 
4. Try to avoid listening bad worlds against other member from any body else: In Pakistan it is habit of many people of talking wrong about others. This is really bad thing to do, if you once started following some one against some one it might be the most terrible moment of your life. In this situation try to involve your husband and make sure he know's every thing about you
5. Feel your responsibilities and worked on it very timely: It's time to show your skills what you can do for your in-laws family try to participate in domestic task and help out others. If your husband or anybody else assign a role for you be timely and be perfect on it.
6. Time management is key: Time management it key to success for any kind of job, you should also have to mange the time. It is happened with many brides, girls are used to of getting up late in the morning but, their in-laws family is used of getting up early in the morning. So, you have to good bye of your old habit and needs to build new habit of getting up early in the morning.
7. Do not criticize but, accept criticized: This is very difficult things specially for girls, for a good relationship you have to follow the script. People might criticize you and you have no right of criticizing, is not the meaning at all but, again at your early days you have to bear this. 
8. Involve your husband in your decisions: Try to take decision accordingly of your hubby and involve him in all kind of matters. 
9. Avoid from disputes at any cost: You are not a judge of any body but you are being judged by everybody because you newcomer in this home. They might imposed a fighting situation to you or create a uncomfortable atmosphere for you share it you husband not in blaming way, but in way that you are seeking for help how to handle this situation.
10. Speak polity and be very nicely: All tips are found to be difficult but these are very small things to do if you really want to build a happier and stronger relationship. Always chose words before speaking and response all member polity, it will help you make your personality loving.

This is all from my mind that I can feel are best tips you can share you thinking with me in comments.      

Expectations of a Bride in Pakistani society

In Pakistan girls born with only on things in mind, that they will go to other home on day after marriage. Girls are very keen to play a game in their childhood (Godda and Gurya) the main theme of this game is, they style the Doll (Gurya, a name of girl toy) just like a bride and some one else will decorate the Dollies (Gudda, a name of boy toy ) like groom.

In this game girls used to manage a small weeding party with some food as well, this is the most enjoy able and remarkable game for every girl in Pakistani society. 

From their childhood to teenage girls are learning many things just because one day they will departs from home as bride. Brides have to learn cooking, sewing and many other things so, they can run their homes after marriage effectively and side by side girls are dreaming a wonderful life as well.

This is my first kind of article on this blog and I have collected some most common expectation of Brides from the new life.

1) The Loving and caring Husband: The very first wish of a bride could be the loving and caring husband, because a girl has left all here relatives behind to live with her husband and it is dream of every bride to chose a loving husband for her new life, if she is successful doing this, life will be full of happiness.

2) Good Family and Nice home: After deciding a good life partner for her life brides might thought about other family member and house. These two things are very important as well in life of a bride. As a bride she expect very good relationship with all members of family and a very good house.

3) Less domestic works and more enjoy:

Today's brides are not having the same thinking like their moms have in past. In past mothers used to train their daughters how to manage house and other very basic and domestic works. Now a days girls are usually well educated urban society, girls are might be keen in cooking but they are not much interested in other domestic works. So, as a bride girl always want to have enjoying and less work atmosphere.

4) Mother in Law's attitude: This might looks old thinking but it is valid reason in most of cases girls want to have good Mother in law as well. Disputes between bride and and mother in Law are very famous in our society and here comes the most difficult task for husband as well. This is the secret of happy life to keep balance between mother and wife relationship.

5) Luxury life style: We talk about the less domestic work before but luxury lifestyle is also on of the most preferred expectations of a bride. Luxury life style demands very comfortable and easy life may be a good vehicle, all range of electronic home appliances, well facilitated home, makeup accessories and well dressing any many things more. 

6) Privacy and separations: This is also most discussed issue in our society, brides expect some way for their personal life where no body can disturb and they can feel freedom. In some cases brides preferred to marry with a boy not having many family member or small family and brides are also avoiding from joint family system as well which is really painful moment for a groom.

I might not listed all correct expectations, but you can help me out via your feedback in comments please share your feedback after reading the post for further discussion or visit our Facebook page

Thanks and Regards!

M. Husain (author)